Having missed the class on politeness last week, this week’s reflection will be based on what I can understand from the notes in relation a video I found on Youtube.

What is politeness about?

For the purposes of this reflection, I will not attempt to define politeness because I think that the idea is so abstract, it is not possible for laymen like myself to accurately capture its essence in only a few words. Strangely however, when people are asked to identify when someone is being rude in a given culture and context, we are often able to answer that correctly. This is possibly due to our brain being able to process intangible information that we are unaware of.

How do people achieve politeness?



In the above video, Mr Rude was listening to Mr Small’s audiobook “How to be polite”. Within it, Mr Small proposed 4 strategies to achieve politeness:
1) Always return a pleasant greeting with an equally kind word
2) Remember to praise your friends on the lovely meals they have prepared
3) Always respect your friend’s opinion
4) Make sure to extend a heartfelt thanks to your host as you are about to leave

Despite Mr Rude’s inability to follow the strategies, we can see how they may fit into the theoretical frameworks of Leech and Brown and Levinson. The following table summarises my interpretation:

Strategy Maxim (Leech) Type of politeness (Brown & Levinson)
1 Generosity Positive
2 Approbation Positive
3 Agreement Negative
4 Approbation Positive

Such categorisation is certainly up for debate but the main idea is that knowing how to be polite is a very valuable skill in human interactions. Although we may not know how to define it, instinctively we may still feel offended when we are not treated politely. Also, acts of politeness may not neatly fall into a particular category or type because multiple strategies may be used in more complex situations. Hence, it is important for an individual to know (and perhaps apply) several different methods people employ to be polite to others in a particular culture and context.

To end off, here is how you should NOT behave when you wish to be polite to others.